Arne

Arne and I have probably had prolonged conversations a half dozen times, at most. I mean, that's all we've had the chance for. I see Elaine rarely and Arne less. Yet there's an ease there that's difficult to pinpoint. Maybe we can talk freely because our lives aren't so wrapped up in each other's that we become sensitive. Maybe there's an innate fluidity to the uncle-nephew relationship. With the parent-child relationship, there can be a lot of weight, especially in adolescence. The uncle-nephew (or aunt-nephew) dynamic* is much less encumbered. You can seek each other's thoughts and agree or disagree without restraint. More particularly, Arne is candid and entertainingly sarcastic. (My dad once joked to Arne, who drove a Saab, that Saab drivers were too impatient, and Arne abrubtly ended the conversation and drove away.) He manages to balance a sense of left-leaning idealism with a kind of east coast corporate savvy. He doesn't assume, but rather inquires, and seems to seek out other points of view.

*This generally holds true with my uncles and aunts, so there is probably something to the nature of this relationship. (What a perfect complement to the parent-child relationship!)