The Bardo Notes

Lillian

2009-05-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Lillian conserved her world like a master gardener, with poise and order. She had a clear vision, encompassed by an indefinite border. She nurtured, careful to provide every need, knowing that growth is an art and a science. She smiled shyly, she laughed, sometimes nervously, always heartily. She grounded. She earthed. She flourished.

Katie

2009-03-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

Katie crystallizes. She listens to you, reads you, perceives you... and then she gathers your unspoken thoughts and your struggled notions and expresses them to you in a few metamorphosed grains of lucid understanding. Like a prism in reverse, she gathers light from myriad sources into a single illuminating arc. To do this, I believe she entwines unflinching honesty, insatiable curiosity and simple yet diligent observation. Plus a little Katie mojo. When I stumble on myself, I talk to Katie.

Rocío

2009-02-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

Rocío is a fierce idealist and a compassionate fellow traveler. She doesn't waver in her principles, yet recognizes that failure may lead to great creations. Rocío marches toward excellence, intolerant of laziness, in contrast to those who stumble toward mediocre renown, abetted by corruption. She is most stringent with herself. She laughs, a full-bodied laugh, channeled from the belly of the earth. She is an ocean boulder; she is a sculptor's chisel; she is a grassy field.

Rick

2009-02-23T13:46:00.000-08:00

Rick makes anyone feel comfortable. He could meet a notorious criminal and not judge. He nourishes himself on others' thoughts, doings and motivations, especially when foreign to him. And so he engages others, amplifying their excitement for life. Despite exceptional talent and understanding, he is humble, content to let others live and explore their path. He is also unflappable when challenged with a problem or situation, calmly innovating solutions. These qualities converge to make an excellent mentor, one who demonstrates and invites.

Lucho

2009-02-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Lucho sang ballads in the middle of the last century. If you're of hispanic descent, your grandparents may have known him, and an even older song, "The Bardo." In Spanish, a bardo is something of a traveling poet, minstrel, or troubadour, a word no longer used commonly. The song is an old-fashioned tale of unrequited love. A simple tale of heartache resulting from unspoken emotion.

A poor bardo fell in love
with a girl of high society.
His life was that of an unhappy clown
that laughed, wanting to cry.

Wandering after her, the poor bardo would
sing to the orchids where his love dwelt
And the girl, with no idea
that the bardo adored her
married another.

They say, that on a moon-filled night
under a blanket of stars, the troubadour died.
Those who knew him said that on that night
you could hear the laments of love.

And the girl, when she learned the story,
the true story of the poor troubadour,
she said, wailing in madness,
"sorrow is killing me today,
because I loved him too."

"What a shame! Why didn't he tell me?
If I had only known, today I would be entirely his."

Charles

2009-02-03T11:36:00.000-08:00

Charlie understood that a grandparent's role is to convey excitement for living. And that, despite all the hells and heavens of life, you can live well, because at least one person has done it before. For many of Charlie's formative years, his mother was in a coma due to a failed experimental treatment. He was by her side every week, while also building his life. Moving away after high school, he rooted in one place for life, with a vision and love for community, in the deepest sense. He loved the simple as well as the political, his family life organized his perspective, he tended the inner and the outer man, a man with integrity, at once common and spectacular.

He was a regular guy.

Silvio II

2009-01-23T13:16:00.000-08:00

See first Silvio post for background

Of absence and of you

Now the only thing left is for me to regain the
lover's breath
To avoid maps, to keep to myself
to avoid certain streets,
to forget that a certain book was once mine
or to write a song

And tell you that everything's the same
the city, the friends, the sea
waiting, because of you,
waiting, because of you

I keep going to Tete's, week after week
you remember her place
Today she spoke of rifles dispatching dead men
I know she loves me
perhaps that's why
I sense you in her living room
even though you're not here now.
And you can feel it in our conversation
or maybe it's just that I have the impression
of absence and of you,
of absence and of you

I hope there's no disaster in the reasonable crime
of remembering
or in the inevitable flaw
of nostalgia for dumb little things
Like when I stepped on your feet
in the crowd
and we laughed and laughed and laughed,
late nights without going to sleep.
Yes, it's different without you.
Very different without you.

Ideas are bullets these days and I can't
wear flowers for you.
Today, I'd like to be older and wise
and to tell you
what I couldn't tell you here,
to speak as a tree,
shading you.
Like a book salvaged from the sea,
like a dead man that learns to kiss,
for you,
for you

Silvio

2009-01-23T12:57:00.000-08:00

Silvio is a great lyricist, generally unknown in the US. Translations can't approximate his power, but they can try, in this and posts to come. He weaves politics, love, the mundane and the ideal - dissolving, rising above, sublimating any one thought, idea or ideology.

Today, my duty was

Here is a translation, open to constructive suggestions:

Today my duty was
to sing for my country
to raise the flag
to join the fray
today was a moment
rather optimistic
a rebirth
a conquering sun
but you've been missing for so many days
that I want to and can't rejoice
I think of your hair
crashing into my pillow
and I'm such that I can't fight another battle

Today, though I should
have sung with the chorus
I hide from the day
I whisper this alone
What am I doing so far away, justifying
this cruel trick of the senses?

Your delicate lips,
kissing mine,
conquer, own, don't relent
your body and my body
singing struggles
possessed sounds, feverish trembles

Today my duty was
to sing to the fatherland
to raise the flag
to join the fray
and I believe that, perhaps,
I've finally achieved it
dreaming your embrace
rushing to your side

He prefaces the song by saying, "I sung this in a Chilean prison, to a group of political prisoners."

Erna

2008-12-05T07:50:00.000-08:00

Erna gardened the way a mother may raise a child - at times meticulous, at times benignly distant, intuitively, dutifully, with gratitude. Her shed was full of possibly useful tools and salvage, her kitchen warm, her home blissfully cluttered, in the sense of someone who has done without, and who appreciates small things. Unwavering, undemanding. She smiles, knowingly.

Walter

2008-12-05T07:16:00.000-08:00

Walter, even if he had a nicer home, would prefer to sleep in a shed if that is all his brother had. He tended his mother's land after his father died. He worked for years in a steel mill, raising his family. He then farmed until his body grew too old. He faced illness and mortality with quiet determination. Though he disfavored idleness, he appreciated companied recreation. Such solidarity and humble strength may not produce material abundance. I don't think Walter cared.

Tally

2008-11-10T10:10:00.000-08:00

-Days and nights = 36/35
-Nights camping/ in paid lodging/ at friends’ houses = 17/9/9
-Miles ridden = 1807
-Avg miles per day, Days #1-26 = 42
-Avg miles per day, Days #27-36 = 70
-Cumulative distances and averages = see itinerary
-Miles on dirt roads = abt 15, mostly pure misery
-Close calls = between 1 and 7
-People who think I'm braindead or suicidal = >837 (in Austin-area alone)
-Flats = 9 (Colorado = 6, Texas = 3, Utah, Kansas, Missouri and Arkansas = 0)
-Tube Failures = 5 or 6
-Loose spokes = 2
-Wheel truings = 2
-Must-visit eating establishments = >3 (Betty's Cafe in Vernal, UT; Homey Hearth in Harrison, AR; Ozark Cafe in Jasper, AR)
-Honorable mention eating establishments = >2 (Mahogany Ridge in Steamboat Springs, CO; Star Cafe in Henderson, TX)

more to come

Inns

2008-11-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

Bed and Breakfast establishments are often comparable to or cheaper than motels or hotels. For this cost saving, you sacrifice generic rooms, bland food, hunger and disservice. That is to say, at most inns, your hosts treat you like family, you get desserts, tea and snacks, an abundant homemade breakfast, better cable, interaction with other guests, sometimes a small library, more comfortable and home-like rooms, beds and bathrooms, unique and sometimes historic lodging. Instead of sterile and generic commerce, this is hospitality. And more reasonably priced. Who knew?

Janie

2008-10-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Janie cast a spell on me. The entire company was fun and sharp and comfortable and familiar, I don't mean to slight anyone. Janie had the type of charisma and energy that could make anything fun. I bet she could make it seem exciting and enjoyable to drink castor oil, while digging a ditch, in a corset, during a blizzard, surrounded by badgers. She would just smile and say, "Hey everyone, let's drink castor oil, while digging a ditch, in a corset, during a blizzard, surrounded by badgers," and everyone else would say, "Yea, alright, I can't think of anything that sounds better right now."

Her four children are raised and independent, and she is finishing her degree, planning to work as a play therapist. I'm not sure I knew much about play therapy. She described it as helping children work through issues or trauma through play. If the field hadn't existed, she might have invented it.

As we spent the evening together, politics came up. It was quickly clear that we distinctly disagreed on some often divisive matters. I feared this difference might douse the afternoon's magic. She stated her opinions, and I didn't really say anything either way. She got up to do something, obviously caught up in thought. She came back later, a question burning in her pocket, and we had a respectful and interested discussion. Earnest thought, common ground, honored differences, magic restored.

Her charisma is perhaps a combination of such youthful exuberance and adult depth and thoughtfulness. As well a mixture of unself-consciousness and an enthusiasm for the task or moment at hand. Janie laughs at herself easily and experiments without fear of failure. She puts others at ease, teases playfully and is curious and engaged.

Homey

2008-10-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Generally, my route follows secondary highways and back roads. Passing through small and smaller towns, I don't expect gourmet food experiences. I'm not looking for anything fancy. My dream, on these back routes, is to find some hidden bakery or diner that serves simple, quality and maybe original fare. They are rare. Or if they exist, nobody knows about them or they're not telling. I ask and ask. I wander up side streets. Time after time, I cast my lot with another false hope. I pine for a homemade muffin or a fresh-baked sandwich. My cries echo back. Don't locals want something tasty? Best case scenario, they are cooking up delicious vittles in their homes. Worst case, they subsist on spam and crisco.

In Harrison, Arkansas, my dreams were fulfilled to overflowing. My road-weary hallucinations materialized. Homey Hearth, an Amish bakery, was closed Saturday and Sunday. I waited. Thick sliced roast beef on freshly baked bread. Peaches and cream pie. Then a slice of raspberry creme. All baked that morning. All served by motherly women in bonnets. Without tons of extra ingredients. Simple, direct and pure. And then a slice of black forest pie. Smooth layers of chocolate and cherries and cream on a crumbly crust. Original, powerful and tear-jerking. I let that digest. Then had a bowl of chili and bought some ginger cookies and a blueberry turnover for the road. Homey, I'm down.

Andrew

2008-10-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

Andrew is trustworthy, generous and concerned. He seems to recognize that mutual service, freely given, binds people. Therefore, he fosters reciprocation. He is well-read, but conversable. He is an enthusiast of subtler points. He communicates, meaning he brings people together by equilibrating negative differences and appreciating positive ones. On such steadiness, you can build. He respects and upholds my sister.

Michele

2008-10-20T13:21:00.001-07:00

Michele is my older sister. She's known me all my life. She's seen me make a lot of mistakes, to say the least. She hasn't judged, nor excused. She doesn't preach or condescend, yet she never ceases to guide. During my successes, Michele has always encouraged, but not flattered. She sustains, but doesn't inflate. She buoys.

To do this, perhaps she recognizes the "beginning" from the "end," and the undefined nature of the "middle." Understands that multiple courses may unite in the same path. Perhaps, as a buoy, she is undeterred, and you may fasten to her.

Ranui

2008-10-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

Ranui Gardens centered my food universe for the past several years. The Salt Lake farmer's market orbits around them. If you don't know the "sweet nectar" of red mustard, swiss chard, arugula, red kale and all of the phenomenal greens, vegetables and garlic that John and friends grow, you should frequent Ranui. If you are not used to such light, your senses may require time to adjust, but once they do, you'll never want to be in the darkness again. If all farms and farmers were like Ranui, the hollow supermarkets of the world would disintegrate into nothing and we would all live in nourished bliss.

...

2008-10-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

well, to articulate... Heber is his own in an unassuming yet unapologetic way. He appreciates the deeper meaning of things, often finding significance in inexpected venues. He is also lighthearted, and usually offers his insight in an unobtrusive and casual way, where you listen, reflect and continue. Such is the art of thoughtful independence.

Heber

2008-10-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

Heber is. Enough said...

Erin

2008-10-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

Erin isn't afraid to be embarrassed. This is a remarkable and remarkably wonderful quality. When she does something that she finds embarrassing, she is usually the first one to point it out and laugh. As people are generally armed with insecurity and pretense, Erin completely disarms them. She can transform a room in seconds. Around Erin, you let your guard down and feel free to be yourself and enjoy your company unselfconsciously. In me, this often creates an overwhelming feeling of wanting to hug her. (I don't know why. It can be awkward when poorly timed. Sorry, Erin, for any awkward hugging.) She's just that magnetic. On a separate note, Erin exemplifies being transformed through service. I've rarely seen someone become so dedicated to others, and do so in all the right ways and for all the right reasons. She doesn't impose, but she is there. She doesn't overwhelm, but she gives.

Elaine

2008-10-18T22:03:00.000-07:00

Elaine is my Grandpa Bardo's youngest child. They dote on each other much like my father and younger sister do. Elaine will always have the most up-to-date information on my grandfather (who is getting on in age, with the expected effects). She and Arne have parented some fourteen exchange students, mostly Finnish and Swedish, and a succession of gold tabby felines. I would have loved to have been at their wedding, a mixture of New England Lutheran and Russian Jewish tradition. I feel the same ease and fluidity with Elaine that I talk about with Arne. We3 seem to have something of a kindred outlook. She thrives on diversity of thought and experiencing other cultures. She engages. She realizes that perception is an art requiring practice. As we share a parent, we talk easily of family and mortality and life's experiences and pursuits. Twice her house has been a wayside in my travels. Both times it has felt like home.

Arne

2008-10-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

Arne and I have probably had prolonged conversations a half dozen times, at most. I mean, that's all we've had the chance for. I see Elaine rarely and Arne less. Yet there's an ease there that's difficult to pinpoint. Maybe we can talk freely because our lives aren't so wrapped up in each other's that we become sensitive. Maybe there's an innate fluidity to the uncle-nephew relationship. With the parent-child relationship, there can be a lot of weight, especially in adolescence. The uncle-nephew (or aunt-nephew) dynamic* is much less encumbered. You can seek each other's thoughts and agree or disagree without restraint. More particularly, Arne is candid and entertainingly sarcastic. (My dad once joked to Arne, who drove a Saab, that Saab drivers were too impatient, and Arne abrubtly ended the conversation and drove away.) He manages to balance a sense of left-leaning idealism with a kind of east coast corporate savvy. He doesn't assume, but rather inquires, and seems to seek out other points of view.

*This generally holds true with my uncles and aunts, so there is probably something to the nature of this relationship. (What a perfect complement to the parent-child relationship!)

Greg

2008-10-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Greg is a reader and a writer and a thinker. And an insightful one. Amid his thinking, though, he recognizes the importance of feeling - of practicing and knowing how to feel. Feeling as opposed to rationalizing everything, or only trusting in our often-errant logic. Feeling in the sense of recognizing a higher power and giving credence to our enlightened instinct. And Greg will make you laugh. He doesn't take himself too seriously or let you heavy up in an unwieldy way. Such is a valuable combination.

Val

2008-10-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

Val and I only recently got to know each other a little better. I wish I had started sooner. She is witty, with an impeccable sense of appropriateness and timing. She deftly blends skepticism with hopefulness, keeping her down-to-earth, diligent and hard-working. And she'll keep you down-to-earth and make you earn your keep in a conversation. People like Val are essential in making the world a sharper, more independent and more honest place.

Julie

2008-10-02T13:29:00.003-07:00

Julie works hard, and efficiently. She doesn't put up with wasted time or misdirected efforts. You have the sense that she knows the best way to do things, and is waiting for you to come around to figuring it out. She holds strong opinions, but depending on the situation, she knows when to gently persuade, when to stand firm and when to yield. And when she doesn't know the best thing, she is humble and active about learning. She is driven, but instead of letting that drive seal herself off, she is concerned for others, and earnest and forthright in her thoughts and actions.

Shalece

2008-10-02T13:29:00.001-07:00

Shalece and I first met in Havasupai. She'd do gymnastic flips and dives from the rope swings and cliffs. After three days of playing in the heat, we we're all exhausted and sun-sapped, excepting Shalece and crew, who hiked out speedy and strong, and laughing the whole time. Perhaps the laughter is key. She embodies the principle of mental strength governing physical ability. She knows she can, and she will, even when taxed or in an unfamiliar situation. And that mental fortitude guides her professionally and personally, even if, or especially when the course is unclear. Such strength does not ignore personal weaknesses or uncertainties. I think she recognizes these difficulties, and works through them... flexible, resilient and tenacious.

Songs

2008-10-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

-Birds and Ships - Woody Guthrie via Billy Bragg, Wilco and Natalie Merchant
-I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
-Love Rescue Me - Bob Dylan via U2
-Oleo de una mujer con sombrero -Silvio Rodriguez

more coming

Packing

2008-10-02T12:39:00.000-07:00

Bike
-1 Surly Long Haul Trucker
-1 Old Man Mountain front rack
-1 back rack
-2 front panniers
-2 rear panniers
-2 fenders

Clothing
-2 long sleeved wool jerseys (Earth, Wind and Rider, they are fantastic)
-2 short sleeved wool t-shirts
-1 fleece hoodie
-4 pair smart wool ankle socks
-3 pair smart wool longer socks
-1 pair of crocs
-1 pair of Salomon trail running shoes (I only mention the brands when I think they're fantastic)
-1 nice button down shirt
-1 pair wool dress pants (hey, they're light and warm)
-3 pair riding shorts
-1 small towel
-4 sets corban garments
-1 pair fingerless riding gloves, (lost and replaced, plus a pair with fingers bought along the way)
-1 pair ski gloves
-1 wind/rain breaker

Toiletry
-1 tube sunscreen (lost and replaced)
-1 toothbrush
-1 tube toothpaste
-1 travel bottle face soap
-1 travel bottle shampoo
-1 bar soap
-1 bottle eye drops
-1 tube Blistex

Tools, Shelter, etc.
-1 Zefal bike pump
-2 bungee cords
-1 spoke wrench
-1 bike multi-tool
-1 leatherman multi-tool
-3 spare cables
-1 set of spare nuts, bolts, etc.
-1 pedal wrench (only because I may have to put my bike on a train)
-1 tarp
-3 lengths of parachute cord
-6 stakes
-4 2' segments of tent pole
-1 sleeping bag (allegedly 0 degrees)
-1 pillow and stuff sack
-1 thermarest
-3 spare tubes (plus one bought and two thrown away for broken valve stems)
-3 tire levers
-1 set of patches, sandpaper, glue tubes
-2 camel bak bladders, 100 oz each
-1 camel bak bite clip
-1 cable lock
-1 camera, batteries and accessories
-1 head lamp and spare batteries
-2 red rear lights and spare batteries
-1 compass
-1 journal, pens and pencils
-1 Katadyn Hiker water filter
-1 jump drive
-1 Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson
-1 The Road by Cormac McCarthy
-1 Book of Mormon

Food
coming later

Roadfinds

2008-10-02T12:37:00.001-07:00

-Can of Bud Light and Clamato (one can - apparently these two, rather three beverages were once combined into one)
-Ladle
-Los Tigres del Norte compact disc
-Red Fox

Itinerary

2008-10-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake City, Utah
Heber, Utah; 42.4
Duchesne, Utah - Starvation Reservoir; 71.8; 114.2
Vernal, Utah; 59.8; 174

Vernal, Utah; 3; 177
Massadona, Colorado; 49.1; 226.1
Craig, Colorado; 71.6; 297.7
Steamboat Springs, Colorado; 41.8; 339.5

Steamboat Springs, Colorado; 17; 356.5
Kremmling, Colorado - Wolford Reservoir; 46; 402.5
Frisco, Colorado; 49.4; 451.9
Blue River, Colorado; 17.5; 469.4
Florence, Colorado; 100.6; 570
La Junta, Colorado; 104; 674
Leawood, Kansas; 8.8; 682.8

Overland Park, Kansas; 8; 690.8

Independence via Liberty, Missouri; 34.8; 725.6

Warrensburg, Missouri; 59.4; 785

Warrensburg, Missouri; 7.3; 792.3

Warsaw, Missouri; 56.9; 849.2

Nemo, Missouri; 33.7; 882.9

Lebanon, Missouri; 45.1; 928

Mount Zion, Missouri; 63.7; 991.7

White River, Arkansas; 63.1; 1054.8

Harrison, Arkansas; 29.8; 1084.6

Harrison, Arkansas; 3; 1087.6

Jasper, Arkansas; 21.3; 1108.9

Dardanelle, Arkansas; 73.4; 1182.3
Hot Springs, Arkansas; 75.9; 1258.2
Mineral Springs, Arkansas; 78.4; 1336.6
Daingerfield, Texas; 104; 1440.6
Henderson, Texas; 60.4; 1501
Henderson, Texas; 7; 1508
Weeping Mary, Texas; 56.3; 1564.3
College Station, Texas; 112; 1676.3
Buescher State Park, Texas; 87.3; 1763.6
Austin, Texas; 43.4; 1807

That is all.

Travel Day Average - 63

Total Average - 50.2

Brad

2008-09-29T00:39:00.000-07:00

Brad appreciates others in a way I've seldom seen. Appreciates their strengths, their foibles, their unconscious traits, their realities and their essence. He laughs alot, perhaps because he sees humor in places that escape most mortal perceptions. This sense of humor arises from appreciating subtleties and creating unlikely connections. He believes in others, is generous toward them, and so believes in himself, and in the grand potential to grow and create something good.

Kori

2008-09-29T00:16:00.000-07:00

Kori is honest, meaning with herself, her beliefs and her life choices. That is an all too rare quality, carrying over into honesty and candor toward others. She is thoughtful, in the creative way, where you can see the effort she puts into her gratitude toward others. She whittles away my pretenses, enabling me to be more honest with myself, instead of backlashing into more pretense. She searches, for the good in others, and the good in life.

Anna

2008-09-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

Anna is perhaps the most positive and dynamic person I know. She climbs high peaks and skis down them, like Lone Peak, Mount McKinley and Mount Nebo. She rode Lotoja in the sleet, snow and rain, risking pneumonia, and finished even though most riders bagged out that year. She is a friend to all, and has hosted many a traveler. She is inquisitive and deeply spiritual. She devotes her all to her daughter and her motherhood, or in other words, to living well and to the lives of those near to her. When you are around her, you feel like you can do more, serve more and believe more. And she is genuine and humble about it. I only know Nate briefly, but as I can see, he parallels and complements Anna.

Atom

2008-09-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

Atom, as my Grandpa might say, is a regular guy. (My grandfather reserved this respect for the most solid and sincere people.) He once trekked with me to Spiral Jetty to retrieve a sea kayak that I had to abandon after an epic outing on the Great Salt Lake. He will always lend a hand or share knowledge and thoughts, without assumption, arrogance or guile. A biology phd, he can, literally, make mouse piss an interesting topic (as if it weren't already, I know). He has a knack for finding good music and recommending the best books, while still allowing you your own experience. He loves quality food and creates superb dining experiences. Never stodgy, nor self-absorbed. He mentored me in climbing. Safe, yet bold and self-challenging, without showboating. He savors others' successes. The miracle of Atom is, that simply living his life, he unlocks worlds for those around him.